School days, school days….

Today my son starts kindergarten. “Big boy school.” for the first time since he was eight weeks old he will go to a different place every day. He will not be in the same place as his baby sister. He will be in a new place with teachers who don’t know him at all. Teachers who I’ve never met. Who is more nervous? Me, of course. He seems like he couldn’t care less, has even told me he’s tired of me talking about it. He knows he’s going to a new school with a new teacher and he has to listen to her. He’s cool, I’m wound up! His backpack has been packed for a week. His lunch box has been packed since early this evening. We’re ready to go!

At least he is. I need someone to hold my hand!

One big thing has changed, however. He’ll be at a school that requires uniforms. Now don’t get me wrong, I think it’s a great thing. It certainly makes my job much easier! He has three colors of pants and four colors of the same shirt. The thing that I miss is the back to school shopping. It was always my favorite thing to do before school started! Every year my Grandmother would take me to Atlanta for a big shopping trip. We headed out early in the morning and hit Lenox Mall first. We always ate lunch at The Zodiac and then headed to Phipps Plaza. We would end the day with frozen yogurt from the cafe in Lord and Taylor. I always tried to put together what I thought was a really great outfit for the first day and new clothes that I guess I thought would change the years of alienation I felt from the “popular” girls. Like the only reason I wasn’t one of the cool kids all those years before was simply that i didn’t have the right jeans or a cool enough shirt. I guess it didn’t really occur to me that it wasn’t my outward appearance that mattered. I still wanted to fit in on the outside and it didn’t matter to me that just because I looked like everyone else, it didn’t mean that I really fit in.

Looking back, the friends I had were the ones I had things in common with. Wouldn’t have really been happy hanging out with those people anyways. I wish I could go back to that younger, insecure me and tell me that the outside appearance isn’t what really matters! It’s the people who you are comfortable being yourself with that really matter. It’s a little like Halloween, really. You dress up on the outside, but it doesn’t change who we are on the inside. It’s a little harder to find those people who your insides fit their insides, but they’re there. I just wish I had realized that in my friends I had all along what I had been looking for in the way I dressed. I hope Jay figures that out too. Maybe now with the uniforms, it gives the kids a chance to figure each other. out as a person and not be so focused on how they dress or what kind of jeans they’re wearing. But I will admit, I kind of missed getting to do that shopping, maybe mom needs something new in her wardrobe…


1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. ash
    Aug 03, 2011 @ 20:18:24

    So true! I was a basketcase before my son went to kindergarten. All the questions: which school? Should we send him as soon as he was old enough or wait a year? He was fine, of course. But he has no interest in clothes or clothes shopping anyway, so I didn’t get that pleasure anyway. I have fond memories of shopping with my mom, although I was always clueless about what to buy, and still am.


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