Over the last few weeks I’ve been thinking an awful lot about acceptance. I don’t know if you’ve picked up on this or not, but yours truly was not at the height of popularity in our high school. As a matter of fact, I think even the debate team guys were cooler than me (although I at least got a letter jacket….for band)! I’m sure that someone can trace back our need for acceptance to caveman times when early man lived in groups and helped each other with the hunting and gathering and the like. So why now, when I can do my own hunting and gathering, do I still feel the need to be accepted? Why does it still hurt my feeling to not be a part of the “in crowd?”

Occasionally, I will see friends posting about doing things together on Facebook and I still get that little twinge of feeling left out. Generally I recognize it and can rationalize it away, but it’s still there, and if I feel it, that makes it real, at least to me. Even now with my good job, husband and fantastic children, I can still feel myself lacking in some area. That low self-esteem can be a bitch!

Sometimes I try to think about when things changed. At what point in my childhood did I become “uncool.” what could I have done differently that would have made me a part of the “in crowd.” Was it the way I dressed? The friends I chose? Where I lived? You can’t look back and wonder what if, you just have to accept that things happened the. For a reason and we should just accept it and move on. I totally understand that, so why does it still bother me? I should be long past the pettiness of high school, although I think sometimes I’ve just traded the halls of high school with the conference rooms of my current job.

A year or so after I left college, I was talking to a friend who had recently been back to see some friends. She told me that after we left another “popular” group had come about. It really surprised me because I had never felt popular. I guess it all just has to do with perspective. By that point in my life I did develop a little more confidence than I had in high school, and I was away from the “Howies” of high school. I didn’t have to deal with the bullying and teasing I had endured. I was free to be myself and not be made to feel inadequate just because I didn’t look, act or think like anyone else.


1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. Acceptance
    Aug 31, 2011 @ 11:18:06

    Acceptance is the answer for all my problems today. I need not be so concerned about what needs to be changed in other people, places and things but what needs to be changed in me. I can find no serenity until I accept things for being exactly the way they are supposed to be at that moment.


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